I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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