Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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