If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
