God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
soo... how was my night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
