I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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