Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
