I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
