I just pynch a tree in the face
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
