And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
