I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
