I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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