you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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