Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
