You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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