you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize