first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
