I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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