I hate your face
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
