Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is the high leading the old right now
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
