she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
