put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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