She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
