Having a random hookup so left but love u
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize