I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
