some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
