idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
