He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
