the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
