Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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