My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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