Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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