I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
