Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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