I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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