STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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