how can u be prego again
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
