Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
