thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
