i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize