Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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