He is an equal opportunity slut.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize