I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
