The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
