this beer tastes like vomit already
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize