***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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