no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize