I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
