...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
