Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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