I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
