I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ladies don't puke and tell
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
