I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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