I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
