Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
