Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
