So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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