So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need to calm my uterus...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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